Quote:
Originally Posted by Beezup2
I noticed you called yourself selfish but immediately followed with, "I can't
help it." No, we CAN'T always help it. We have behavior and thoughts that are symptoms of our illness and it is what it is. Like you, when I get indecisive, I now don't apologize or feel shocked or sad about it. I just tell others, "Oh, having trouble with (blank i.e. my memory, my emotions, making up my mind - whatever) today." And keep moving. It's acceptance but it's also NOT apologizing to others. Just an acknowledgement -period.
So often my bipolar is about distorted thinking...if we didn't have that, than we'd be well, eh? So I try to put a hold on my negative, distorted or paranoid thinking - get through the episode with help - then I can look back and say: "Boy, I 'm glad I didn't do this or wow, I sure feel differently now!"
And what would we do without friends to give us a little reality check as we struggle getting ourselves back on track? A few days ago I called my sister to read her an assignment I'd been hung up on for days. I was ready to GO OFF on someone but she said, "You know I see it another way - you're overthinking this!" And I was, and I was about to make a mistake. Her perspective was worth it's weight in gold. Hope this helps in some way and things get better for you soon. 
Quote from my therapist: "Don't believe the lies of depression." |
Yes this did help a lot. There is certain things where i am just straight with them, for instance when i'm flustered and cant think straight i just say "i need you to tell me what to do, else i'll just stop!" and they do, and they understand i'm ill, i dont think they totally understand the illness.
We all had a really big chat last night, my two BEST friends Kerri and Robert and Roberts boyfriend Adam, and Adam was saying that he loves me and that he tries to include me in things him and robert do, and that he understands it must be hard for me to cope with them getting serious so soon, (i lived and worked with robert for a long time and then suddenly he moved in with Adam) i took what adam was saying as sly digs to unsettle my good mood and make me aware of the situation that robert was now his.
Robert and Kerri have both said they dont find the illness a problem what they find a problem and quite insulting when i think they dont care at all.
My meds arent at a therapeutic level and i am so hoping they're going to help!
I'm feeling safer in myself and more rational now as the day is going on.