Awh Special, I'm so sorry you feel so bad, and I wish there was anything I could do to help. Right now I'm just keeping on. But that's okay... take one day at a time, even moment by moment. Right now I'm hiding in my house, haven't left since Friday, but it gives me space to feel the empty, and I know from experience that something will come along to fill it up. Maybe in a day, or a month, I don't know. But I do know for you that things will change, they always do. I didn't know that at your age, I do now. Sometimes things are for the bad, sometimes they're for the good. We get used to dealing with the changes. Perhaps hiding in your room is what you need to do now to grow deep roots and get strong.

I know that I've not always been the best of sisters, I know that sometimes I drop off the face of the world and go quiet, but I think of you, and pray for you every day. And sister, you are beautiful. I'm glad that your mother didn't deprive the world of your kindness, your courage and your beauty. Don't listen to the lies buried in her words when she is cruel to you. She's hurting, there's nothing you can do about that. But you can shed her pain, don't carry it in you. It's not your fault she's broken. You are beautiful, "made to make manifest the glory of God", as the catechims puts it. Next time you feel unbeautiful, try remembering that, and say it. "I am born to make manifest the glory of God." And you do it, in every act of kindness, every smile you raise. And I love you for it.