{{{{{{Kim}}}}}} ((((((Anyone who has lost a precious pet}}}}}}} {{{{{{Justsignmeup}}}}}}

*Aza steps on her soap box* This is one issue that makes me furious.*

To begin with I am a trained therapist who worked for Hospice. One of the things I learned through the body of literature on death and dying, education, and my practical day to day work with Hospice patients and their families is that our Western culture does not handle death well AT ALL! Usually 3 days bereavement from work and that's it. In the Jewish tradition the family of the deceased to not leave their homes and "sit shiva" for seven days of mourning. The end of the "formal" mourning (to my knowledge, please correct me if I'm wrong about this and in general I am speaking of Orthodox Jews) is marked at the year's anniversary of the death. Other cultures have varying observances, but rarely as quickly as Westerners are expected to "get over it."

Before I get off on a tangent, the point is that (1) grief can take from 1-3 YEARS to lessen (people rarely "get over" the loss of a dear one, be they human or precious pet and (2) deaths cannot be "compared" to another due to a myriad of circumstances.

Justsignmeup...I'm so sorry for the cruel way you have been treated on the loss of your husband so recently.

Onto the issue of pets - family members, friends, acquaintances and co-workers, everyone around me, knows my deep connection with my pets, so I haven't had much difficulty with people telling me to "get over it." (I generally receive sympathy cards and even some gifts. They may "think" I'm grieving too long, but they don't want to risk my ire by saying it. *grins*

I've never brought up pet loss as an issue in therapy; either I wasn't in therapy when a pet died or, with my most recent loss, Morris, my 20-year-old orange tabby, my T. asked about him and we talked a bit. (In fact, it was the loss of Morris that was the final straw to the past year's stresses that sent me plummeting into depression that kept me out of work five months. Tell me an animal is not an important part of some peoples' lives.

On the plus side, I am seeing more and more therapists who either work professionally with pet grief or volunteer while in vet school, etc.

Years ago when my former husband and I had to put our first "baby" to sleep (a gorgeous Samoyed Huskey) I was given a little pamphlet by our vet called "Death of the Family Pet." In the back it lists about 15 different vet colleges with people trained to counsel over the phone. I called one while my heart was breaking. If anyone would like any of these numbers, please feel free to PM me.

This thread has prompted me to post my "pet family" in the photo section. (If I can figure it out ) Most of them are old photos and I have "morphed" over the years.

Included will be a formal portrait of my former husband and me with our Samoyed (yep, we went to a photo studio to have this picture taken), me under the Christmas tree with our Doberman and Keeshond, a photo of me holding Morris, and one of Kali I. (I recently adopted another calico who is Kali II )