WW, you are sane and rational. It is okay to use the words, and to say what happened. I think that the biggest lie that dysfunctional or abusive families tell is that what you experienced wasn't real or isn't something you can say. They would be embarassed, and they put that above your ability to accurately gauge your own perception. Everything that I've studied says that destroying a child's ability to name and believe in his or her own feelings and to trust his or her own senses and perceptions is one of the most damaging parental styles there is. You are doing an amazing job recovering from that. Trust your instincts. They were probably right all along, even though you didn't know it and don't always know it now. You're breaking the cycle. I'm cheering you on!

Love,
Rap