I hope you went to lunch today. If you didn't I will understand.

Just remember you can come an talk it out any time. If you are ever in a spot where somehow too many emotions come all at once (happened to me really bad once) find someplace very quiet and repeat over and over your just in the moment, just in the moment, over and over and let everything go and all you have to do is just be in the moment. It will eventually pass and you will calm down.

You have to keep in mind that they are just emotions, that is all. I don't know if you have anxiety attacks, you probably do, but basically those are like a thin blanket that cover the emotions that are waiting in a line to be addressed. Once you are more aware of the line of emotions you are more easily triggered. And you really need to keep a journal, and bring it with you all the time.

One of the things that I discovered is that if there are a few days or even one bad day where I have been triggered but was not consciously aware of it, I would have two reactions, lots of anxiety and I would also be very tired. So by going over the days preceeding the anxiety attack or extreme exhaustion I would cover the day like you would a crime scene and remember all the events and how I reacted to them.
That is how I discovered many of my triggers that I really wasn't aware of. And they are all a part of the layers in the onion. But once you know what they are you can consciously work on them and focus on not letting them bother you as much. It does take time and it is a process but you WILL GET STRONGER at LOWERING the impact of the triggers.

This is where many PTSD victims start to feel like they are doomed for life, that is WRONG. Once you figure out your triggers and you work at defusing their power, you will really get better at truely lowering their impact.

So make sure you keep a daily journal so you can figure out what unconsciously stresses you. It could be any person, any thing, a tone of voice, a facial expression, a set of stairs and as with me, doors, it can be any where so that journal is important just like the story of occurance in a case. And you may find a lot of them, that is ok, don't let that get you down, you are not ruined, remember that.

It is ok if you need time out from socializing. But if you have trusted friends that are gentle and understanding than it is ok to be with them. And work should be ok, but if anyone or anything upsets you write it down so you can quickly defuse it.

If you have days where you just want to cry, that will not ususally happen at work, for me, that doesn't happen at work, work for me is a comfort zone. But if you have nights or times when your alone and you feel like crying, go ahead and cry, it is ok, it is part of the morning and grieving so don't worry.

And remember you can always come here for support, your really not alone ok? I have probably told you that many times but I just want to make sure you remember that.

There is great support here. And you can also PM me too if you want to. The forum is good too because everyone looks at it differently and something someone says may just click for you and make a big difference.

Open Eyes