Years ago we got in trouble with our credit card and were able to pay it off. Cut it up. Our credit was horrible for years afterwards. The utility companies were very helpful and kept our utilities on until we could pay. Taking 2 small children in to talk to them helped too.
After I started to become depressed and then hypo manic my used to say he would rather me be depressed than manic because depressed he knew where I was (bed).
I am very fortunate that my husband takes care of me and only gives me cash. I don't have access to the debit card or check book. There has only been one time when I gave him my savings bonds and credit card. I scared myself as the urges were so strong.
I would suggest you seriously find someone to keep you accountable. At this rate you will never have a future or get out from under your debt.