@jia i understand u are finding it difficult to understand your situationa and in confusion about what to decide about the world and people in it. i guess u are young but trust me people much beyond their primes feel the same way. the only advise i would like to offer you is to stop understanding others! i know it might sound harsh but u really cannot hope to understand others unless u find yourself. try to seek what u are as in your personality( read abt it from web) your dreams, your capabilities your key skills in this world, your nature( as in ambitious, caring ,materialistic, philanthropic etc) then u be confident abt it. and show to the world u'r good side. soon you wil build a world of your own with the people who are happy for you and are happy u are there with them and also you wil be happy that hey are there in your world. all this will take time but it will be worth it as you will find more peace in your life and love. it all starts with understanding yourself.TC