I am sorry you feel like bad mom. I don't believe you are. What I believe you are is a person in need of support. I read your other post, and you practically have none.

I can imagine your daughter is bringing up in you your own childhood, and whatever it was like for you, and that's probably the source of your anger, not your little girl, but the suffering you had to go yourself as a little girl. Maybe you are upset, that she has it to, like why couldn't she get born "normal", why does she have to go through the same hellish thing you are going through. And even if it sounds like it's directed at her, can you see that it's really directed at fate, at God?

I hope you can find some help on coping around here. And, as that seems to be the only help you do have, bring these issues with your anger at your daughter to your therapist, have her HELP YOU.

This is not something to be ashamed of. You are not bad because you have these feelings or reactions, you are GOOD mother, because despite becoming triggered, angered, and irritated, you do not take it out on your child. You protect her.