I decided not to start a new thread and just keep using this one because I would sound redundant.

I can only hope that today will be better. My T sent me a story about perception, how everything is right there in front of you but if you don't "look" for it and focus on the bad stuff, you will never see the good stuff. I know he's right, it made a lot of sense and I will try, but when you're in the deep dark hole, it's hard to see anything in the darkness . . . . . . .

I will try. This hole has never been this deep before, or maybe it has and I don't remember. All the littles are scared and confused. New stuff happening in therapy and I think it will be good but right now it's just confusing. I am trying. I just feels like - melting ice cream.