I sleep in a single bed. It's a way for me to feel safe. I did have a happy sex life with my second husband (who died) but I have no desire to be intimate with anyone else. The whole process of losing him was so traumatic, I can't imagine ever being close with anyone again, I couldn't bear to live through that again. At the time I didn't realise how much I was going through, but that's because I loved him so much that it was natural to care for him above and beyond. Only later did I realise that I was absolutely and utterly exhausted, as well as grieving. I don't think I will ever recover.