Hi Skysblue,

I had a session since i posted this. But I'm still unclear about it. I can't recall how my t explained it now. I keep drawing a blank. I think one of my problems in trying to understand this is that i have dissociated parts to my personality. I don't have DID, but do dissociate. T has referred to parts of me being "stuck in the past." So anyway, I have this adult-like part of me that is how i am most of the time. But i also have a part of me that only shows up at certain times and feels just like a small, scared little girl. My t has said she wants to work with this small part of me. And I've exercised alot of control to try and hold that part of me back and in hiding. Mainly because i feel ashamed of it. But having got brave enough a few times to let that part of me show up in t. I know it's that part of me that has needed email replies. But now i feel regret that i let that part of me show what i need because t seems to be implying that it's not OK for an adult. I'm sorry if I keep repeating myself. My mind is trying to understand this. I feel like i am being asked to choose one part of myself and deny the other. But the one that i think t wants me to deny is the child part that she has said is in need of healing.