Yes, but..

"The couple of times in which I have not had the latest installment of the plot developed have resulted in a languishing and stumbling episode - a session that does not seem fruitful at all."

It feels like I need to be in control so that we can address fully that which I think needs addressing. Otherwise it seems like we are just throwing darts in the dark hoping that we'll hit the target. I would love T to lead but then she'd have to know where I am at that moment.

Therapy seems like a school where the students must be fully prepared and engaged in order to learn anything. But in this school, the student must be self-directed and learn to ask the right questions. The new knowledge does not flow from some proverbial fountain ready to be ingested without effort and self-propulsion.