Have no idea what got me thinking about this tonight. Here goes a most embarrasing question I think I have ever asked. Puter is set on small print so is extra hard for me to read what I am typing. rolls eyes at myself for "whatever"..

Well, does childhood sexual abuse mess up ones adult sex life. Maybe what brought this up is I am thinking of replacing my queen size bed with a double bed so I will have more room in my bedroom. Then the thought popped up.. A single bed? As to question my own idea of even thinking of a single bed. A single bed fits only "one".. Well hello... that is ok with me....but why is it ok?

OK.. to the point...Most of my life, I've either "froze" during sex or afterwards gagged with dry heaves after just "normal sex". It isn't so much that I didn't want sex, seems my body didn't want it or something was keeping me for the normal enjoyment of sex.. Is it possible I was reacting as maybe I somehow reacted as a child rather than the me as an adult. I don't know if that is even possible. Just thought I asked. Kind of irks me that I can't say I had a wonderful sex life.. Seems all I could muster up was feeling dirty and just awful.. Isn't that just the pitts??? Isn't like I haven't tried.

I'd even make plans ahead and be determined to enjoy but no matter how hard I tried, the end results were the same. So could this possibly be one of the side effects of childhood sexual abuse?

SHhhhhhhhhh... If we could have two nics on this side I would have used another nic... lol...