My best friend recently passed away. I promised to take care of her daughter like she was my own, and her mom had me taking care of her in her will. Her husband and she were divorced because he was abusive. She's 14 and has become a little hard to handle. I am going on Thursday to talk to her therapist (who deals with grief and body image) but wanted to get any other ideas first.

She had a checkup the other day at the doctors office and what she said to me alarmed me. Towards the end the doctor asked me to come back to sign papers because my husband and I are her new legal guardians etc. My 14 year old left to go use the restroom and she said that she is concerned about her for a few reasons. She is developing very slowly and is not on track to start her period within the next two years. The doctor says that she is too thin and needs to gain some weight before she will be on track to develop on time. She's 5'1 and about 86 pounds. The other day her cheer coach approached me and said that she was worried she was getting too thin, her coach has been involved in sports medicine and other things like that. Interesting enough her figure skating coach also told me she is concerned about her development and said she is the first girl she has ever coached that she told needed to gain weight. I am going to talk to her therapist about this, but does anyone have any other ideas besides laying down the law. I often let her get away with saying "I'm not hungry." but I am not sure if I am going to be able to allow that every single time. Her mom had really bad anorexia which her doctor said could have been genetically passed down.