Quote:
Originally Posted by Calista+12
Thank you everyone. well..where to start? Most people on here know my financial situation because I recieved a grant from PC (Thank God for all of you people) My Therapist is away all month and I have another health issue besides a pilonidal cyst. I hurt myself trying to get the air conditioner downstairs and when I picked it up to install it, I heard and felt a pop in my back. My doctor said to go to the ER which I did. They x rayed my back and told me I strained it and to go home and take muscle relaxants. It still hurt weeks later so I went to the doctor who ordered an MRI. It showed I have a compression fracture of L5. If I hadn't found out, I could have ended up in a wheel chair. 
The depression is back with a vengance. I sleep the day away and am up all night. We are unable to pay our monthly bills and I'm constantly getting calls from those I owe. After 25 calls in one day, I lost it and started screaming at the poor woman. I don't know how long this unemployment will last (it's been over two years with no unemployment insurance)
I've lost patience with myself; many have it worse than I do. I'm just so tired of not being able to afford the simplest of things. I should be grateful I have a roof over my head.
I truely hate being dependant on people to help me do the most basic housework. I feel like nothing...not being able to do anything meaningful makes me feel so worthless and feeling like I take up too much air.
There's my rant...I'm sorry but it's all too much . I guess it was cumulative and snuck up one me. |
I'm sorry... being poor sucks. I know that in the greater scheme of things we're not the poorest people in the world, we live in houses, not tin shacks, and we have shoes, and running water... but we do still struggle to make ends meet, and that's a real anxiety. I started shouting on a train on Friday, was lucky not to get kicked off. Anxiety can cause you to lose your rag... I'm sure we all know the feeling.
Regarding feeling dependant, that's another awful feeling. But you know, you're not useless, and you are meaningful in yourself, regardless of what you do or don't do. Just the fact that you exist is important. A world without you would be poorer. We never know the way we change people.
And the pain, that's serious. I'm just glad you found in time what the problem was.
In the meantime, accept that right now you're tired, and not feeling well, and try to remember that those feelings don't last forever.