skeski.. Interesting point you brought to my attention..The childhood stuff without my consent and the adult "reactions" without my consent. There does seem to maybe be a connection there. Didn't even notice it when I typed it..

Am sorry you experienced physical abuse as a child. So so sad when children are abused. Children are meant to be "loved" and not abused in any way..

It is sometimes very hard to understand how our childhood affects the "the core" of our being. My "mind" is already running away from all this stuff which is clear I don't deal well with things are aren't so "great" in my life. I have absolutely no feelings associated with the "not so good stuff" as a child and I am trying at this very moment to stay focused and yet I feel "blank" and/or detached.. Seems one way or another I've lived a lot of my life detached.. maybe I am just tired. will finish responding to this thread at another time..