Just want to add a thanks to everyone that re sponded. I really intended to respond to each and everyone one. Am sorry I can't do that right now. I just want to say I really appreaciate each and everyone's response and I do care and need to re spond but at this point, can't right now.. Will return when I am more focused on the topic..
to everyone

Just adding ... I think a had a moment of feeling vulnerable when I started this thread. Seems I don't feel very vulnerable at the moment and my mind wemt blank and rather than fumbling about trying to say something is best for now I lay quiet.. Please forgive me for being so silly... or whatever it might be called...I don't know what happened...