this is the anniversary of our last r**e 16 years ago. i hate the word last because there never should of been a first. but there is a lot of shame and blame that's so connected to the r**e. still trying to work out so many feelings. All I can say is how great my T is. just hearing his voice and laugh is calming and makes things OK.

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pain pain pain pain !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm in so much pain today i can't stand it. i just want to cry and scream. i can hardly walk. my legs are actually moving better then my arms are. i'm not able to even raise my right arm up to my mouth to even eat. i hate this so much. i'm just so so very sad. my T last night said I should look into getting the voice program for my computer so I could at least get my work done. i've been home on the couch or in bed because it just plain hurts to move.
that's my venting and whining for tonight.
monty