Monty,
T's are great and I'm glad you have one that you trust and can confide in and feel safe.

Sorry you are having a tough time. It's okay to feel bad sometimes. You've earned that right because of what happened. The trick is to not let it get ahold of you. It's okay to scream and cry - my T taught me to use a pillow, which is very hard because I avoid anger and emotions like the plague. I'm glad you're able to express yourself, it must be helpful, yes?

Anyway, you're not alone and we're here.
Safe hugs,
Anne