ok lets do another scenero -

I was raped by an abuser lets say he had purple hair and lets say it happened 5 years ago.

I walk into my local store today and down the isle I see a man with purple hair. This reminds me of the time 5 years ago when I was raped.

The first thing that happens is I stand still and get a feeling of being afraid - that its my abuser and so on.

That rape happened 5 years ago but yet here I am in the present feeling like I did back then - afraid.

I am now experiencing a piece of a memory - the memory of being afraid 5 years ago.

The only difference with DID is that the memory piece is stored separately in the unconscious level so the person doesn't know the complete whole memory content so the person acts out the memory)

Whatever is here in the present making me feel afraid is called a trigger.

Why am I afraid? Something today (seeing a man with purple hair) reminded me of what happened 5 years ago.

What triggered me to feel what I felt 5 years ago? ....Seeing a man with purple hair today.

The memory of the rape 5 years ago is not going to change because I cannot go back in time to right before I was raped and have something different happen.

The feeling in that memory is fear. Im always going to know that I was raped and how afraid I was during the situation Theres no way to hit delete or cut out the feeling of fear in that memory content its going to be that way forever because that is what happened 5 years ago.

I was raped and nothing is going to change or take that away. Its done and over with.

That does not mean I have to stay stuck feeling that fear that is in the memory.

now that I know what the trigger is - man with purple hair down the isle in the store - I can take care of how I feel today in the present when the memory of that rape starts replaying --

I can - walk past the guy in the store to prove to myself he is not my rapist from 5 years ago.

I can say to myself "I am ok that was a memory of the rape that happened 5 years ago and this guy today is not my rapist".

I can turn around and go down another isle so I dont have to be in the same area that the man in the purple hair is in.

I can leave the store and go home.

I can go home and take a bath/shower.

I can go home and wrap up in a blanket

I can find something to write on and write a journal entry

I can listen to my walkman that has relaxing music on.

I can draw a picture of what happened 5 years ago

I can call a friend on the phone.

I can go visit a friend.

I can call my therapist.

All of these things are going to comfort and make me feel safer and not want to cut myself.

Once I am comfortable and feeling safe the memory of the rape that happened 5 years ago stops replaying in my mind.

Now your situation. You know that in a memory piece you feel unsafe and self harm thoughts keep repeating.

There is nothing you can do about that memory content that feeling and self harm thoughts replaying can't be changed

BUT

you can find what the trigger is. Look around you and see what things, people places animals and so on that is near you right now that makes you feel uncomfortable,

Then do something to take care of it by doing something that will make YOU feel comfortable and safe now.

this helps because when you feel safe today the memories of the past (feeling unsafe and self harm) will stop repeating.