A few "friends" of mine tell me I have OCD. I was under the impression someone with OCD couldn't step on cracks in the sidewalk or have to lock and unlock a door several hundred times.

I had no idea that keeping my house spotless meant I needed therapy or maybe even some narcotics.

I had no idea that if I got halfway to work and had to turn around to make sure I shut the garage door or turned off the coffee pot meant I had "issues".

All this time, I thought never having been arrested and always paying my taxes MEANT something!

Who knew my "friends" were testing me when one of them dropped a cigarette butt on the floor at a local eatery? They wanted to see how long it would take me to pick it up.

I just didn't want the waiter to think we were a bunch of pigs!

Did I pick it up? Heck yes I did......wouldn't you?

All this time I thought keeping a spotless house with the beds made and the dishes done meant you had pride in what you have.

Who knew it meant I have no control over my "compulsions".

I thought people with compulsions were criminals.....not people who like the smell of pledge.

So, help me out here people.....Am I whacked, or what?