I only see my T every 2-4 weeks, so we have 90 minute sessions as we found 50 minutes wasn't long enough with that interval. 90 minutes is great! There just seems like so much more time to discuss things and get deeper, especially when we don't see each other frequently.

I think what helps me not "waste time" in therapy is being responsible for what we talk about. I bring up the topics. T doesn't decide what we will discuss. I know that if we didn't discuss what I wanted to but some other thing, that it is my fault only, and that next time I can do better and make sure what needs to be discussed gets discussed. That doesn't mean I have every session planned out as sometimes I will just sit there and allow whatever needs to be discussed to manifest itself. Sometimes, it surprises me! Other times I do go to session with a definite topic in mind, usually something that has been looming large in my life. Often in session, there is an "A plot" and a "B plot"--to borrow some lingo from TV scripts. Or with my 90 minute sessions, I may have an A plot and 2-3 B plots. It varies.

There are also relationship building conversations, rather than discrete things I want to work on. I have come to see these as very valuable rather than detracting from the main topic(s). So I let them happen and they are nice. Like last time, T and I spent the first part of session talking about what beverages we like and why--it was a whole littany of things. Like alcohol, coffee, tea, lemonade, pop, etc. It was fun. I now know exactly what T likes in his coffee and he knows my favorite kind of tea. And we know each other hardly ever ever drinks alcohol and why. I also know he hates lemonade but I really like it, and this is not the end of the world! We must have spent 10 minutes on this, but it was not a waste, but delightful. When we have delightful conversations together, it draws us closer and makes future conversations on difficult topics easier.