I think it is just because neither one of you know how to be patient. Parenting requires a lot of slowing down and being patient, it is hard for ADHD people to do that. She is only four and yet gaining momentum which is challenging for you.
At least you know why. That is so important for the both of you.

At least you are making efforts to be patient even though it is hard, as you know that if you get angry and spin, she will just get worse. You are being a good mother, you are trying, I hope you are getting help and support and be thankful that there is an understanding of what this is.

Open Eyes