Like, Sunny's T, T told me very early in therapy "I have very good boundaries". I *need* very good boundaries, and it was reassuring to me, even though I had NO idea what he was talking about, since I had never been in therapy before.

We've never talked about boundaries (other than that early comment)...or rather, we've talked about MY boundaries, but not his.

I would say the boundaries have changed A LOT over the course of my therapy. Early on, I did not want to hear ANYTHING - I mean, literally ANYTHING - about his life outside of the office. I didn't want him to touch me, or even come within a few feet of me. I didn't want him to use the word "relationship" to refer to what existed between us. I told him all of those things, and he was super respectful of what I needed.

Now, four years later, I know quite a bit about his life outside of the office - but nothing that feels inappropriate. He's told me stories from his boyhood/young adulthood when it's pertinent to my therapy. I'm very comfortable with physical contact with him, and we hug at the end of sessions, and I often hold his hand to connect/ground. I'm perfectly fine with calling it a "relationship" now (T teases me about that all the time, actually).

We do have contact between sessions, but it feels "right". I e-mail or leave a voice mail, and he checks his e-mail/voice mail whenever it's convenient for him, and will reply if I ask. I like that I can reach out when I need to, and that T can have his own life and choose when to reach back.

Our relationship is very comfortable, and feels very safe. I'm super grateful for that.