Sorry I haven't been around to support others lately. Been going through a rough time. But I wanted to share about my issue - and how T helped me.

I wrote last week about the issue with my friend and that I finally confronted her. I went beyond that and sent her a detailed email telling her how I value our friendship, all the things I enjoy with her, etc. - but also telling her how because our friendship is so valuable, I felt it was important for me to share what I was feeling.

I told her all the things I feel as a result of her behavior - minimized, dismissed, attacked, tense, stressed. I was gentle, yet firm, that I needed to feel heard and understood, that I didn't want her to get defensive, that I need to feel like an equal in our friendship, etc.

Afterwards, things really went downhill. She didn't address my email. She's being deliberately more attentive and caring to others in front of me, while basically ignoring me. She then subtly accused me of stealing from her. And then, at one point, asked me where my T was located, as she thinks she needs to talk to somebody. (Yet, this is the same person that told me that I live 'too much in therapy' and goes against anything I share about therapy...and her BROTHER is a therapist, and she talks to him about me - and then reports back to me about how all this therapy is hurting me, not helping me.)

I talked to T....and I know he was so pleased that I am standing up for myself, regardless of the outcome of the relationship...and helped me see that my friend is acting this way out of retaliation. She's trying to punish me for breaking her unspoken rule of how the relationship is to be. And she's trying to get me to see what I'm missing as a result. It's pure manipulation.

My T told me that addressing conflict in a relationship can either bring people together, or pull them apart. It's the relationships that grow and strengthen as a result of resolving healthy conflict that are keepers, and the rest are just a side show.

I also asked him about her attempt to want to see him. I told him how uncomfortable I am with that idea. He said that if she called him, he would refer her to someone outside of the practice. He said that there are plenty of therapists around and there's no reason why she would need to see him. He suspects it's more about crossing my boundaries and information gathering, and he will not accept her as a client.

As a result of all of this, I know I should be very pleased with myself. T said that any time that we not let fear stand in the way of doing what's healthy, it makes me stronger. And since fear has been so prevalent in my life - not with physical pain but emotional pain - this is a big accomplishment for me.

By the end of the session, I was in tears, because it helped me realize how unhealthy my relationships are - and how, without them, I am so utterly alone.