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Aug 16, 2011, 02:09 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,288
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(((((CREW)))))))
If someone has said something that has hurt you than it is really saying something about them, NOT YOU. What it is saying about them is that they don't THINK about others, THEY JUST DON'T KNOW HOW.
Clashing is bound to happen, especially here Crew. Any one of us can say something at any time that may be considered some kind of threat to someone else here, EVEN IF WE DO NOT MEAN ANY HARM. And part of dealing with other people is always taking a chance of being misunderstood or even being hurt by someone that feels anger and needs someone to direct it at.
We are all in REPAIR here, EVERY ONE OF US. And each of us has a personal struggle and some of that comes out when we hurt someone else. Crew, we both have PTSD and we both have many layers where we were hurt and what that also means is that WE ARE BOTH SUSECPTABLE when someone is mean to us. Sometimes someone can say something that touches on one of our painful layers of our past and what you are expressing here is exactly how we feel, and yet try not to feel.
That is what I work on a lot Crew. When something bad happens to me, WHAT I KNOW IS "RUN". And that feeling can be very strong and I have to work extra hard to fight it when it happens. What I am working on is how to really fight that strong emotion that, from long ago, many times, that is what I did, RUN. I had a lot of ways I did it Crew, and I am learning just how I did it one day at a time and as I learn I get all the other emotions that came with that too. And sometimes I get very tired when I try to NOT RUN, but learn how to stay and WORK MY WAY THROUGH IT.
Some people RUN by being MEAN Crew, did you know that? I have never seen you be mean Crew. If anything you are very quiet, but you are also VERY SENSITIVE TO THE FEELINGS OF OTHERS. So that means that you also are VERY SENSITIVE. "We are what we know CREW" but that DOESN'T MEAN WE CANNOT "LEARN" to be different, and better, and stronger. Do you see what it says next to my name? "One day at a time" THAT IS ALL I CAN DO RIGHT NOW. And sometimes it is ONE MOMENT AT A TIME, especially if I have been hurt and I am trying EXTRA HARD "NOT TO RUN".
Do you see what I just told you? "YOU ARE NOT ALONE" I am here too, right beside you and "I UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS". And that is what I REALLY NEEDED WHEN I CAME HERE, "Not to be frightened and alone".
I am trying to have courage EVERY SINGLE DAY Crew, and it is not easy, but I have realized that the same is true for SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. And you have seen that too, and you have many friends and YOU TRY HARD AND YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON. So your thinking is never going to be WORSE than someone else.
Everyone has different ways of "RUNNING" CREW. That is one thing I have learned by coming to PC. But what I also understand is IT IS NOT OUR FAULT,
"IT IS WHAT WE KNOW". So when someone hurts you and you don't know what to do, you have to remember that that other person has not learned to respect someone who may be different or is stuggling too. And the real truth is "WE ARE ALL LEARNING TO THINK BETTER". Crew, NO ONE THINKS PERFECTLY.
I am very SORRY that someone has HURT you and you are struggling. And if someone hurts you and THEY CANNOT APPOLOGIZE, THAN IT IS "That person"
that is RUNNING, not you. It took me over 50 years to learn that, and yet it is still hard and I am still learning, "Right along side you Crew, with you, understanding you, trying to understand others, and they are trying too.   
Open Eyes
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