Let me see if I understand this: he lives with roommates and wants to live alone. Fine, can you let him do that, move out of where he lives into his own place? Or, is he saying he wants you to get a place of your own so he can come visit you there, but not have to move himself? He may want/need a life "alone" for awhile, just see you as he does now but from his own place or come visit you in your own place? How long have you been seeing one another.

My relationship with my husband was always easy, we liked to work things out together, wanted to be together most of the time. We aren't in each other's pockets though; even though he's currently sitting less than 10 feet from me he's doing his thing and I'm doing mine. We do sometimes email one another,

That might help you? Do things you want and "allow" him to be part of them or do his own thing? The relationship should be kind of a connector, not a part of either of you, like tying a rope around each of your waists so you're free to roam but are "together" and know you're together (can work together too, if you want). Tell him what you want, "I'd like you to hang out with me on Thursday night" and hopefully he can. But it does sound like he's mixed up on what he wants but that isn't your problem really, look at what you want (not in relation to him but in your own life) and work on that and it will either attract him or you'll see it isn't going to work with him?