Completely agree. RUUUUUUUN!!!!

That said, I know it's hard to get over feeling in love. Ask your therapist for help. Some of the things you said, have nothing to do with you loving him, but with your self-esteem, such as "he makes me strive for good things in my own life". Dear lady, HE DOES NOT! That is simply impossible. What is happening is that when you believe you are loved, you feel empowered to strive, but the striving comes from you, not him, the belief powering it: "I am loved and lovable" also comes from you, because that man, that sociopath, DOES NOT LOVE YOU. I am soo, sooo sorry to be telling you this, but ask your therapist if she think that man is capable of love. What you've described, how he told you he is a rapist and then pressured you till you consented to have sex, that is NOT LOVE.

But cry, for you heart that's been broken. Cry, because your love and your goodness have been taken advantage of by a predator, but love yourself, and keep yourself away from him. Stop talking to him. Un-friend him. Block his phone number. Do everything to make this irrevocable, so you can't crumble under your sorrow and seek him again.