So about 10 years back I was diagnosed with DID by my long time therapist. He asked to hypnotize me and I refused and stopped seeing him afraid he may find out my "secrets". So years later (about 7.5 years later) I go to see a new pdoc for meds. This doc tells me that he doesn't believe that I have DID but may be suffering from some form of siezures... I thought he was an idiot. Something I typically think when Doctors tell me something I don't want to hear. I only saw him once. So 2.5 years later and here I am at the end of a very tiring week where I have had 3 "siezures" in a 5 day time frame.
Basically my whole life there have been moments unaccounted for. Moments that I have blacked out. Since I was 4 and was in a terrible situation with my father I have had these blackouts during high stress. Some of them I come back from it with a horrible headache but not much else. I can tell there is a hole in my memory but it doesn't seem too serious. But then about 3 years ago I blackout... More or less fainted. I was at work 10 minuted into my shift and I started to get really dizzy and everything turned black. Next thing I knew I was on the floor with all of my coworkers surrounding me calling my name. They said I stopped breathing for nearly 3 minutes. Once I stood up and made my way to the table I began to uncontrollably vomit. I went home and was too tired to go to the ER so I took a long nap first then went in to the hospital. I had never fainted before. About a year prior to that I did have a massive blackout that landed me in the ER with a concussion (after the blackout began) and now last Saturday... I don't want to go over the entire episode but it started much the same as the fainting spell. Blackness and I come too with everyone over me crying and freaking out. It was a full blown siezure that began with shaking, then my body tensed then went limp and I fell to the floor off the couch. After I was able to lift myself back onto the couch I started vomiting. I had never experience this before...
So 3 days later and I'm still shaken up by everything. I was in the car and started to get the dark heavy feeling again. The next thing I know I'm confused and feel like there is the void again, not as long or dramatic but still there. I'm left asking "what happened" and how long. The next day the same thing happens. In the car again and I find myself again saying "What happened" Apparently my eyes were going back and forth and blinking repeatedly but I have no memory of this. None of any of the episodes. I know I should have gone to the ER after my "grand mal" siezure on Saturday but I had no insurance so I didn't make it to the doc until Thursday when I saw the problem wasn't going away on it's own. The ER referred me to a Neurologist... Costly doctor for someone without medical insurance.
So I go see the Neurologist Friday, the day after the ER. After finding out I did not have insurance the Neurologist refused to run any tests or give me any medication or even attempt to find out what has been causing the siezures to stop them. I have found a new doctor that in time can get me these tests but I can't see him until the 18th. Every day is a battle. I am a small framed female, I have dizzy spells constantly being in the south and being small framed. Each day I am terrified of having another siezure since I don't even know what triggers them. I know the dizziness seems to start things in my case so every sign of dizziness throws me into panic. My past and family history seems to be DID would be the correct reason behind my blackouts. However I'm not sure what to make of this new evidence that some of the blackouts, if not all of them could be in relation to siezures. I'm sory to post so long but I am really afraid. I went to church on Sunday and 15 minutes into the service and I had to leave, I was so afraid of my own self. Not knowing if or when it will happen again. I don't even know for certain that the two are connected but it seems too similar to just be coincidental. Basically I'm asking if anyone knows of any connections between DID patients and siezures... These siezures, blackouts, fainting spells... All happen when I am under a great ammount of stress or in a horrible situation at the time. Does anyone know if siezures could be a way of dissociating, I know the spectrum is very wide and covers many things. I don't know what to make of this and need some kind of hope to get me through until the 18th... Any response would be greatly appreciated!!!