I hear you pretty clearly. Sometimes, when I can't get my mind to stop reeling like the deck of a ship in a typhoon, I need to shut out as much light as possible in a room and crank some music really loudly to drown out my own thoughts. Somehow, by it being dark and by not being able to hear anything but the music, there is a calming effect from dampening the input from the tempest. It's just a suggestion, of course. I believe you have been coping with more for longer than I can imagine, but since it helps me, I thought I'd toss it out there for ya and see if it does any good.

Take care and good luck, o' wise one.