I wouldn't worry too much about the who, when, and where's. They'll come soon enough....Give yourself a break -- and a little credit!! You went to see your t today. That's a good thing. Heck, a GREAT thing. And it was only your first visit. Why not just be good to yourself today for how far you've come? Rather than where you'd like to go...

You did good today, peace. Proud of ya!!