Okay, I didn't read any of the responses, so if I repeat something or say something weird, I apologize.

But I wanted to say that I don't think he's crazy or doing any sort of push pull with you. I"m not sure of your ages, so I don't know if that would change my answer or not. But really, I can totally understand that he would want to live alone for awhile before getting married. I think he can have both, just not both immediately and simultaneously. My cousin actually strongly insisted her (now) husband live alone before they got married (He was in his 30's and still living at home (his family is really Italian, this was a foreign concept to his parents)) because she wanted him to have that experience -- to NOT go from being taken care of by his mother to being taken care of by her.

Basically, I think you should give him the space he's asking for. I don't think he's saying two completely opposite things. I think you should encourage him to get his own place, to feel self-sufficent for awhile. Once he feels more like an adult (living on your own will do that), feels more in charge of his life, more in control, you'll probably see him move towards marriage and family. Once he feels like he can provide for himself without any help, he'll feel more ready to provide for you and a family.

Oh, and there's definitely no such thing as an "easy" relationship. What fun would that be? A girl likes to be crossed in love every once and awhile; gives her distinction among her friends (Oh, Jane Austen).

Now.. To go read all the responses to this thread...