This does kind of sound like depression talking. Why don't you have any hope that meds will help you? Have you tried them recently? You say you haven't made any progress. But you've been sober for 7 months! If that's not progress, I don't know what is. If the depression is such that you fear for your sobriety, would it not be a reasonable idea to talk to a pdoc about meds. It doesn't obligate you in any way, but maybe he could lay out some options.