I can relate to your initial post, autumn-spirit.

We all have different experiences. Some events may be similar, but that's really not what is important. What is important is how you took the experience emotionally.

For instance, whenever I've complained about my childhood to my parents, they've said that I'm wrong. I have had happy times ~ even though I can't recall most of them. But, in their opinion, I focus on the negative. Okay.. The fact is that my childhood felt chaotic to me. I picked up on the tension between my mom and older sister (who isn't biologically related to my mom) ever since I was a very little girl. My older brother (my mom's son, not biologically related to my father) picked up on that too very early and used that to his advantage.

They fought violent fights everytime that my sister was around. I was in a panic, seriously! I tried everything that I could think of to get my family to calm down & be friendlier with one another. That was my mission in life. I failed at my lifelong mission ~ and I have blamed myself for years. I simply couldn't understand why. Why couldn't I get my mom to be more accepting of my sister? Why couldn't I get my brother and sister to see how intense and violently they were fighting? What did I do wrong??

My perceptions may have been inaccurate. Of course my opinion didn't matter to them ~ why should it? But at that time in my life, I didn't think like that. So I struggle with self-blame and self-hate. Those emotions are there regardless of their validity.

Make sense? I hope so!