I usually have a general idea of what I want to talk about. Like tomorrow, it's going to be about how I felt about last session, and what that part feels about my "pattern". I'll bring all of my emails but probably I won't ever read them. Or maybe I will. What is important to me is to try to be mindful in the session. I need to look at my T and feel that connection, and discuss how it is for me. So I know it's going to be about the t-relationship. But, if we finish that--fat chance, but you never know, maybe we will finally get to the EMDR. Or, could be I won't be able to talk and I will color again.

So I have some ideas but who knows? The session will play out the way it needs to. IF I don't like the way it's heading, I can change direction. It's like doing an improvisation instead of following the script, but you can have an idea of what you want to talk about.

I intellectualize everything and my T knows this. Or, at least I used to with all my other Ts. This time, if I feel something in the session, she wants to know more about it. It's more about feelings than getting an agenda met.

My former T used to tell me that I came in with my list/agenda, I spent most of the time reading it, not looking at her, and then the 50 minutes was up, and I left feeling frustrated! That's not therapy. I learned not to do that, though. Then the 50 minutes seemed longer. Stopping to look at my T and feel something made the session slow down. Hard to explain, but that's the way it was.