Thank you all.

Amazon, I really just wanted to be able to get through all this stuff quickly to be done with it. I guess this isn't going to happen that way. I just have to be able to accept that. For some reason your post just made me want to cry. (not blaming you or saying that it was wrong) just that this is really hard to accept that I'm not just going to be able to spend a couple of sessions on it and be done with it.

I was thinking about it, and the only way I survived getting though childhood was shutting off my emotions. So it makes sense that that is my easier to do that when things get overwhelming.