I'm struggling this week with Extreme anxiety and Depression. I recently quit my job thinking I had another line up but that fell through. I feel like I will never have a good job and I will never be able to afford the things I need (like for a family) .......Every morning this week I feel there is no reason to get out of bed and sleep/toss/turn until I'm feeling ill from over sleeping and still fall asleep on the couch later in the afternoon. I seem to suffer from night terrors too...these seem to come and go -lately I've had them almost every night. I'll wake and scream and flail and pant for a few minutes then fall back asleep- I only know about this because my husband tells me. I can't make simple decisions like what to eat for lunch. That simple question turned into a huge fight today!

I have no purpose in life I'm just wasting space and soon they will all realize this and want nothing to do with me...I'm going home to see my family next week and I know my mom will comment on my thinning hair-- my lack of work-- my low status job--- my general failure--- don't get me wrong I love my mom and spending time with her I just know I will have to endure these comments-- my dad will comment on her drinking and how grandmas being annoying or sick or how he got into another fight with a family member.... My brother will smile and shake his head - he doesn't get me at all he just tries to except me but sometimes that falls into disapproving... I'll freak out ( I'm already having trouble breathing and am shaking writing this) about seeing everyone including my one friend still in the area then over analyze it all later just to see how stupid I've been Grrr my brain will not stop the more I type the more worries and obsessions come up. Sorry this is a rambling mess but My mind tends to do that and I was really just hoping there's someone who can relate. Anyway, thanks for listening