The trick is to have a conversation. To respond to the other person and be present in real time.

I always knew what I was going to talk about but after a few years we got to understanding that I was just "reporting" about what I had already thought, done, felt, etc.; I wasn't giving my T anything "new" for her? We weren't working together, I was telling her, more or less, what I thought and she was responding but it was about old actions and things that had happened "out there". If I felt anything while I was in session, I was oblivious to it?

When you leave session, do you ever feel disappointed or wish you'd said something or are all riled up and at sixes-and-sevens? That's because stuff wasn't dealt with when it came up in session. We take stuff with us instead of bringing it up right then and there, the only time it can get taken care of because it's the only time we have with T, in person.

It's the difference between listening to the news "live" and with a time delay. Yes the riots in London were scary to hear about but think how different the "scary" would be if you were actually one of the people there?

You don't have to be blank when you go in, by all means start talking about something you know is interesting/important to you, even about something that already happened but then see if you can switch to the situation "now" and how it makes you feel now and really listen to what T says and how what she says makes you feel and go on from there. If T doesn't "get it" can you tell her you feel frustrated that she doesn't? I often miss what I'm feeling when it's happening and that's the whole point of therapy, to get "current".