I have had two panic attacks over the last day and i cant stand it anymore. I pray to god and ask him to send me a angel to watch over and be with me. He does and i eat normal and than am filled with guilt afterwards. I am soo fat and cant stand it, but i am so numb from all the pain and i want to drink alot of alcohol to get away from the pain or just run away. Now that the voice inside of me is overpowering me I am afriad to eat anything but I still do. God is watching over me and helping me somewhat. I am just so tired now.