I know what pain feels like. I have had several broken bones over the last 20 years from various sports.

I have NEVER felt any pain like this before. And the really crazy part is.....I didn't even KNOW it. Just because I think it may be true is maddening.

I feel like my guts are being eaten away.

I am so ticked off I can't even describe it....to the point of being physically ill when I think about it.

So, now what?

There is no way I would ever talk to anyone professionally. There is just no way I could even begin to talk openly about it. I just couldn't. I've always been the good kid. I was the kid who never got in trouble, I was the kid that could ALWAYS be depended upon. I was the kid that parents wanted their kids to hang out with so I would be a good influence on them. There is just no way I could ever admit out loud that something isn't right. Nothing's ever been.....not right. ever.

I'm sorry if I have come off as unsympathetic toward any type of illness. I don't mean to. I just never imagined I would ever start a thread on this type of website. Not in my wildest dreams.