Hello emptybee15, I am a get high off stuff kinda person also! I have an addictive personality. If it makes me not feel my emotions I would do it! To me it is kinda a cause and affect kinda thing. Because I didn't want to feel I used and because I used I was addicted because I couldn't use just once! Yes it was a dance that I knew the steps to real well! Now I go to meetings and hang here and life is getting better. I am learning to kinda like my feelings today!