Hey (((gma)))

I went through a period of time where I felt a lot similar to the way you describe, as I couldn't express myself or be myself. For me the cause of the problem was my insecurities, and the fear that if I acted as myself, I would not be accepted by others. But what I learned is that if I don't accept myself, no one else will get the chance to accept me either, because they will never really see me.

It might help you to try therapy and talk about your own problems that you feel are causing you to put up this wall. Maybe it's insecurity, maybe it's fear of trust. There's a majority of things it could be. I think that's the first thing you need to figure out.

Just know that you're not alone, and that there are people out there who will accept me. It took me awhile, but I fee like I've found a few.