Hi gma45 thanks for replying to my post! It was hard for me being that honest but nice to know someone out there can relate to me Lately i have been worse than ever because i lost my job 2 months ago. Haven't even managed to get an interview since then I live in a small town with high unemployment so i know this isn't totally my fault..i lost my job when the business closed down. But it is so hard going out and asking for work..i have tried a lot of places with no luck. I do a bit of voluntary work which is really good for me, but i still have too much time at home to think and my mind and my memories go crazy sometimes. For some reason, its worse in the morning..I cry for no reason, or i cry for many reasons....I can pull myself together to see my son off to work but then i often can't get motivated to do anything for myself. Sometimes i go for a long walk..ipod on full blast to drive out the sad/negative thoughts. That helps....as long as i do it...Because other days i will just bury myself in a book, go online, avoid the world in general. When i talk to my family or friends I never tell them how bad i really feel, i don't want them worrying about me. My partner is very understanding with me, he's seen more tears than anyone and he gives me my space. He has tried to learn about depression and anxiety to understand me He is an optimistic person which was what drew me to him in the first place. I know i am blessed with people who love me...this is why i will keep trying to get on top of all these depressing feelings.... Hugs to you and yours