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Exposure therapy sounds like a good idea. The only thing that is going to convince you that she is safe is experiencing that she is safe (sleeping with her and realizing that you are okay).
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........
I'm an ISFJ
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