Thanks, but I WAS awesome. My brother was kinda the same, took FOREVER to get thru school, more wives than a barrel of monkeys - now he's the successful one and I'm the so-called eff-up. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU! Just kinda kidding! But I did feel like an unspoken pressure to not outshine him, especially being Italian descent, very macho stuff.

I mean, I realize it's hard on the brothers too, but sisters bear the brunt of it in this society, maybe things are changing as young men become more feminist-thinking and equality minded, as I see my friends' sons and even former younger coworkers are.

But your first question? How do you change your mind? That awful cheating abandoned feeling is best worked on OUTSIDE the boyfriend environment, if possible. If you can whine and scream at a T instead... my T threw a doll at me this morning, guess it can go both ways!

My brother once said, when are you gonna get over that WE (he helped make the decision) didn't let you go away to college? I'm like, how about never? It changed my whole life, so how about THAT long?! Thanks, bee, I feel like you're the first person who ever came close to understanding. I mean, I am grateful for what I have, which is much more than most, but it doesn't change the fact that I was tricked, denied, and cheated, by the people who are supposed to care for you the most. As you said, like you're nothing.

And thanks, I am having an excellent day! I am glad to see my T is finally loosening up a little (J/K!), and I walked halfway home from my session, yay for me!