You guys should have bought a camper and stayed at a campground and worked on your marriage. To be brutally honest....you don't know this guy from online, it was your husband that stuck with you. Does he know you were raped while he was gone? have you went to a crisis center for help? You don't know this other online guy that is coming to see you face to face.....I've seen those meetings and they don't always go well. I think you and your husband should go to counseling, if he's stil in the military they have some very good programs for partners of deployed loved ones.
You are lucky heis giving you a dime. I'd let Mr. face to face romantic take care of you and go about my business.