I'm going to be fairly blunt, but only because I wish someone had been blunt with me (or, if they had, I wish I didn't get defensive when they said it).

The reason you're not getting over it is because you don't want to. You have to REALLY, REALLY want to change the way you feel and think in order to get over the past. It's going to be hard, no doubt about it. But right now you are enjoying the feeling of being in control that you get from not trusting. You have to really want to trust, really want to be allow yourself to be vulnerable, really want to actually feel good about yourself before you can start changing the way you view things. You said you didn't know how to start telling yourself good things about yourself. Well, you do it the same way you did the negative things. "I am a good person worthy of love and happiness" over and over again. No, you're not going to believe it at first, but if you keep saying it, eventually it will start sticking.

The things that happened in the past are in the past. You cannot change them. There is no point in being angry about them now. There is no point on wasting energy on things that cannot be changed. When you start to think about these things, stop. Take several deep breaths, in and out. Tell yourself you are a good person, worthy of love and happiness, capable of trusting those who deserve your trust, and that you are not going to worry about things you cannot change. You might have to do this several times. It's going to be hard. But the more often you interrupt your negative thought patterns, the more you will move away from them.

I hope this helps and that you weren't offended by my post. I understand the feelings that you have, and I am still learning to deal with my own. I'm finding my therapist is very helpful as I learn to remember to breathe and be compassionate towards myself.

Good luck and take care!