Hi (((((( emptybee15 ))))))
I'm so sorry you are struggling with the outcome of what you have had to endure. I understand that facing it, working through the emotions and feelings one has and very often the fear is so very difficult and it takes time.
I don't believe anyone ever gets rid of the memories and pain of what we've been through. What we can learn to do for ourselves though, is to find our own best healthy way of dealing with those things that are so painful. This helps us to have a better and more positive life than if we try to forget things or if we ignore things.
Life is a journey, made up of good things and bad. Through our journeys, we can change and work towards a more peaceful existence within ourselves. I hope you can find your way to that more peaceful existence very soon.....you deserve it!

sabby