It sounds really complicated, shezbut, and like there are several different things going on. I hope you can persevere and find some help. I think this does sound like it is outside of the scope of your gynecologist's expertise. I agree the best person for the pee problems is a urologist. The symptoms you describe sound like urge incontinence, and this is not uncommon--did any of your docs mention that possibility? There are medications that can be prescribed to help with the urge incontinence. Did any of your doctors suggest this? Also, as has been mentioned, one of the first things a doc might recommend for urge incontinence is bladder retraining. There are also special physical therapists you can go to who deal only with this sort of problem. They can help you find the right muscles to work on--sometimes a woman thinks she is doing Kegels right but isn't--and help you get started on an exercise program for those muscles. Even if you think that bladder retraining and Kegels won't help your particular problem, you may have to go through these steps before the doctor will be willing to progress to the next intervention.

I think the best person for the bowel problems is a GI or internal medicine doc. You said you've seen one GI and it wasn't helpful. I would ditch that doc and go see another GI person. The situation you describe does not sound normal. At the very least, there are other ways to add bulk to the stool to help with passage than with benefiber. I am surprised they would not tell you this. You might also try going to a nurse practitioner for the GI problem. My father, who recently died, had a lot of bowel and constipation problems in the last years of his life. His doctors could have cared less, as if this were unimportant and beneath their talents to try to help with. It's something a person deals with every day of their life, it is not unimportant! Nurses were much more responsive and seemed more knowledgeable about my father's problems. They knew different products he could take to add bulk, help with stool passage, etc. And they were willing to sit down with him and listen, and pay more attention to these quality of life issues.

I would also ask if you are taking any medications that could be causing constipation or affecting your bladder muscles or nerves. For example, opioid painkillers cause constipation, as do iron supplements. And lots of medications cause urinary retention and may affect the bladder muscle,s ability to contract and relax.

Good luck, shezbut. I hope you'll keep trying. Now at least you know that the gyn is not the right doctor for these problems, so you can cross her off your list.