I got hairbrained idea to email my Dad and to ask him to STOP calling me a shortened version of my real name, it is NOT my name and I really hate it a lot but have basically not said anything for the past 3 years it has bothered me. ONCE i hit the send button I had this feeling of fear and dread rise up in my soul, and I laid down for a bit to think about things and it has occurred to me that I have put myself in the position I used to always put myself in years ago, and that since learned until now not to do , and that is to make myself emotionally vulnerable to him and any criticism anger hemight show, NOW HE KNOWS how i feel and I am frightned as i[ve been very successful in learning howto hide my deepest feelings from him always, since teen years, I am so afraid now even tho i know Im an adult and this is my right to ask to be called by my name not some stupid shortened version. I SO wish I could take thatemail back now i just wait with anxiety as i';ve beena ble to protect myself from being emotinally hurt by him for a long time and NOW i just opeend the door and welcomed him right back in. I am so so confused why i did this.